Wait a minute. Mama is calling me. What are you saying Mama? That’s funny, mama. I’ll tell them: Mama wants me to tell you this joke: Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? That’s how dogs spend their lives.

     Good one, Mama!

     Back to the idiots I know about. While at the dog park I hung out with the owners of the dogs sitting at the picnic table. I overheard a lot! I don’t know all these dogs and I may not want to! One mother said her yellow lab dug up the buried hamster in their backyard, then promptly came inside and puked it all up. What an idiot!

     One of the dads at the table said while he was browsing the running section in Nike with his dog, Georgia, who took a liking to the AstroTurf grass that was part of the central display. That’s when she decided that it would be an appropriate time to take a poop in the middle of the store! He even told the dog’s name – which all I have to do is ask the other dogs where Georgia is and keep my distance after hearing this story. I’d never – I am a gentleman.

     Another lady said her dog ate an entire rack of cooked pork ribs and had to visit the vet. After three different medicines, her dog never puked. For twenty minutes, the staff resorted to playing helicopter – spinning around to make him spin around- so he would give up the contents of his stomach, which he finally did. However, I also heard his mom say that one of the staff members puked before he did. These guys are idiots!

     The conversation went on and on: a pit bull ate half a box of paintballs (around 500) and for the next week he had fluorescent orange poops. An Irish terrier would frequently sneak into a neighbor’s garage and steal a can of their dog food stash and come back with it in his mouth hoping his family would open it up. Another canine ate her Petco Frisbee in 30 seconds and of course it came out in small red pieces with one still having the Petco name intact.

     Mama? You said something? Oh, of course mama – can’t forget this one. Mama’s friend has two Australian dogs, JJ and Benny, who love to trick each other. JJ is able to fool his brother into getting up and following him so that JJ can then turn around and take Benny’s favorite spot on the dog bed. Now that’s a SMART dog.

     I’ve got to try that one with my nephew, Jager, sometime.